Hi Lindsey,
Although we've discussed this in class already, here are my comments:
- My overall comment is that the abstract reads really well, and I get a clear sense of what the research FOCUS is: you identify the research problem in the first paragraph, then develop it in relation to your own practice
- LOCATE: In terms of situating your research in a community of practice, I think it would be useful to name a defined disciplinary area or two (maybe looking at areas of the journals where you've found most of your sources?). This will help the reader trust that you have an awareness of the academic debate, alongside your embodied knowledge as a practitioner.
- REPORT: In the third paragraph, you make it very clear which methods you're using, and also give an account of your findings so far. I think that's great, as it gives the reader a sense of the ongoing process.
- ARGUE: in the final paragraph, your suggestion/speculation on the outcomes of this first phase of the research, are very helpful because they point to an emerging argument that you are developing.
- I know you're using this abstract for the Reflective Conservatoire, in which case I would probably tweak it accordingly, using a set of keywords such as artistic citizenship, professional training. This is one of the questions from the conference submission requirement guideline: 'How do traditional and more innovative elements within curricula (for example collaborative work, interdisciplinarity, improvisation, creative entrepreneurship) interact?'
- Title: I think it's quite powerful, but maybe the use of the term 'dictatorship' could be contested and needs some theoretical grounding (i.e. someone in literature using it already, or a theoretical rationale for its use here)... maybe I would consider using a different word, either switching to 'artistic emancipation' or 'escaping musical authoritarianism'?
I hope this is helpful. Look forward to seeing you on Monday!
Have a good weekend
Stefania